Escalators and Other Monsters

So my ‘visit’ to the dentist is finally done with. I’m to meet pumpy for coffe.. apparently she owes me, coz she snapped at me a week back or something like that. I obviously accept. Free coffe.. always a bonus! So we meet at Infinity. Right outside Landmark. Thit is the tough bit - to wait outside the city’s coolest book store, (when one has a fetish for books) and not buy anything because one is too broke. She arrives, and since she’s one of the book reading clan, promptly walks in. Without much choice I follow, and keep my eyes diverted from the racks of books on display. It is a gargantuan effort, worth commending. If you think trekking in the Everest region is challenging, wait till you try this. I make the most feeble attempt at engrossing myself in a conversation - um.. with myself, and for some strange reason it doesn’t seem to be working. I do the next best thing - I start chatting with her so that my attention is diverted from the books. It kinda works. I walk out twenty minutes later having bought only one book, setting me back only Rs 100. It is most definitely an achievement for me. A first. We move to the coffee bar at the foodcourt on the same level. CCD. People seem to love the crap they sell there. For a change, I am pleasantly surprised by what I get to drink - an Iced Caramel, or something along those lines.

We settle down at a table, with Pumpy making fun of the dressing sense of the various ‘characters’ roaming about, or the lack thereof. Mz. S is supposed to meet us there, and we wait it out, arguing over who she loves more, Pumpy or me. As always, we never reach a conclusion with that one.

An hour passes, and Mz S calls, saying that she’s waiting at an eating joint down the road. So we set off, as Pumpy’s supposed to accompany her for a play. Now, owing to this pretty little thing called technology, our trip downstairs becomes dangerous. A matter of life and death, as I am about to find out. Only the strong survive. She dreads the inevitable. I know nothing about it, yet. We take a turn, and find our path blocked by the Monster. It is a sight that terrifies Pumpy. It is active, moving at a steady speed, caged within its boundaries. Unfortunately for us, we need to pass through its territory. Its jaws expand and contract. It is rather intimidating for one unused to such things. This is the moment that will decide all. Will the world turn upside down? Will the Monster devour the lesser mortals approaching it? The suspense it way too much to take. We step on to the escalator. Pumpy promptly crushes my left hand and freezes in the perfectly co-ordinated way that is typical of her. A turtle on stilts trying to moon-walk down the Kanchenjunga would be a fair allusion. Not to mention the state of my left hand. All this while she hasn’t mentioned anything regarding escalators, and so I’m more than a little taken aback with whats happening. The best way to cover my surprise is to laugh. So I do. I poke fun, ” Say, Pumpy, you’re from the states, woman. What’s with the fear of escalators?” And such. Pumpy, as always at a time like this, is not amused. She closes her eyes and prays to the Machine Gods, promising her soul after death, if she would only reach the Ground Floor in one piece. Incidentally if I reach with my left hand detached from my body it’s acceptable. I cannot comprehend how one brought up in the States can be so terrified of machines. Into the Unknown, Episode 435.

I get Ea, and after about fifteen minutes, we reach the rendezvous point. Voila! There’s nobody there. Mz. S has left because its getting late. There we are, figuring out what to do, and I suggest we might as well eat. So we enter Urban Tadka. Its got the atmosphere of a typical ethnic Punjabi dhaba. The waiters are dressed in Pathan suits, with little waist coats to with them. the tables and chairs are made of rough, uneven wood, to give the place a homely feel (or what homely would feel like to people who live in such homes). Suspended from the ceiling are the most interesting lamp shades made of bangles. Good form there. There is however, a stark contrast, as posters of the latest Matrixy movies decorate the walls. And of course, there is my good friend Himesh singing in the background, what would we do without him? All in all, a place to be!

So we get down to work. By the time I wash my hands and get back to the table (otherwise called 2 minutes), I find that appetizers have already been ordered. The name Pumpy hasn’t gone to waste. Five minutes later her eyes light up. I know whats coming. Over Chicken tikka and Seekh kababs, we chat. About the most arbit stuff on the planet. Starting with fights in college days, and how that never seems to happen in the City of Dreams, for some strange reason. I tell her about Stephens, and all the non-studying I did there. I tell her about Lisa, about Surd, about basketball days, and of course, Saasha Singh and his lamp post. That one never seems to grow old for some inexplicable reason. Pumpy seems amused. Whats new?

We start the Jugalbandi - story after story. Each topping the previous one. We discuss the crazy things that people tend to do in the name of seeking adventure. Various locations across the country that would make a person believe in the supernatural. Bodhgaya, Patal Bhuvneshwar, Panchgani, the Aran islands, the works. We talk about sub-terranean caves, and the magic they hold. natural rock formations, Shiv Lings, tunnels connecting various parts of the country, ruins of ancient forts, and the history behind it all. And a couple of beers never did me any harm while talking. So our short meal lasts about three hours. By this time we’ve moved on to stories of frustrated men watching porn in shady theaters and gratifying themselves. The joys of life. And the things people can talk about!

By this time, the Badam Kheer arrives, and Pumpy digs in. I’m obliged to taste, and man - AWESOME would not even begin to describe it! After thats done with, we ask for the bill, as its getting late. I play the role of the chivalrous one and pick the tab and smoothly pass my card over to the waiter, ignoring a violently protesting creature sitting next to me. Then, as with every episode, something flips. He says that the card machine ain’t working. And i’m not carrying enough money to pay for myself, forget others. Typical situation.. it’s a typical..

Thankfully Pumpy has cash on her, and pays up. So here I am, red faced and wondering how I’m going to negate the embarassment. She’s polite enough not to mention it. We pick up the doggy bag and leave. Outside, we share the usual formal goodbye. She leaves, and I head off to pick J up from rehearsals.

Thus another day comes to an end..